What are your expectations of situations and people? When faced with new or difficult circumstances, how are your thoughts? Positive? Negative? Indifferent? I go into most situations with the predisposition that everything is going to work out the way that I want. I think it has something to do with me being the youngest child (and very spoiled). Regardless of the origin, I do believe that it is the expectation of things working the way I want that is the secret to them actually turning out that way. In that, all of my energy goes in that direction and (even though there may be hurdles) “it” gets done (whatever “it” is). The same can be true for having negative expectations and talking yourself into a spiral of despair before events unfold.

There was this guy who was driving to a dinner party out in the country and he got a flat tire. Knowing he was in a time crunch to get to his destination on time, he jumped out of his car, sped to his trunk and flipped open the hatch…only to realize that he didn’t have a jack. Panicked, his mind raced as what to do. His cell phone was out of range and he truly was in the middle of nowhere. Standing, by himself and beside himelf with grief, he saw a light flickering in the distance. “It could be a farmhouse,” he thought to himself. It was getting dark, the temperature was dropping and it was a seemingly long trek but, with no other choice, he decided to start walking towards the farmhouse to see if the residents had a jack he could borrow. As he walked, he started working out possible scenarios in his head of what would happen when he arrived at the farmhouse. Each scenario ended with him not getting a jack and being stranded (possibly for the rest of his life) out in the middle of nowhere - cold, hungry, and friendless. Although his building fury did hurry is pace, it did nothing for his disposition. The further he walked, the angrier he got. Over and over in his head he repeated, “I know that this guy is not going to let me borrow a jack!” By the time he reached the farmhouse he was in a rage. He marched up to the door and pounded on it repeatedly. He KNEW that this was a pointless endeavor and that this “guy” was not going to let him borrow a jack and that he was going to be out here forever. He pounded again. Finally, the door started to creek open and there stood a kindly looking old farmer. The farmer looked at the man and said, “May I help you?” The man reared back, hit the farmer in the face and said, “I didn’t want to borrow your damn jack anyway.”

The moral of the story? Don’t borrow jacks. We can discount things before we even give them a chance to develop. We need to set our expectations towards greatness if that’s what we want (or our team) to achieve. When you set them high, the hurdles will be just as high. To help you stay positive and laser focused on those goals, try these strategies:

Visualize

Know exactly where it is you are going or what you are trying to achieve. Sit back and visualize what it looks like, what it tastes like, what it feels like and who is there celebrating with you when you accomplish the goal. Once you do that, write it down and tell people about it. Verbalizing your goals helps internalize them, makes you accountable to those you told them about, and you will be much more likely to keep going when the going gets tough. If it’s a team goal, make sure EVERYONE (from the person in the mailroom to the CEO) knows where the team is going. This gives common purpose and critical mass - both of which move mountains!

Persist

There is an Irish proverb that reads, “Persistence breaks down resistance.” I am pretty sure my youngest daughter is Irish because she lives by this. There will always be hurtles to jump, mountains to climb, and speeches to give. Most will tell you how things can’t be done, not how they CAN be done. I always repeat to myself, “WWWWD?” (What would Willy Wonka do?). He would keep going and say, “We are the music makers and we are the dreamers of dreams!” If you have clarity in your expectations and know exactly where you going, keep up the fight, and persist. Don’t listen to “nay-sayers” who try to trample on your dream. It will go the way of your will if your will is strong. Stay strong!

Laugh

When the going gets tough, the tough get laughing. Stress is a fact of life. Having the intestinal fortitude to set your expectations high and dream can add enormously to your stress load. When you are persisting and the stress is building, take a break and laugh. See a funny movie, talk to friends that make you laugh, or just do some “ho ho ha ha ha’s” in the privacy of your car and you will find that your stress will diminish expeditiously! Laughing sets off a chain reaction of physical and emotional responses in your body that will help you maintain perspective, stay focused, and be happier! You can’t see the horizon if your head in pointed downward. Keep your head up with laughter!

In the end, we get what we expect to get. Each of us is only here for a short period of time and we should expect greatness because each of us IS great. Each of us has a reason, a purpose, and we should never discount our own capabilities or our blessings by “borrowing jacks.” Keep laser focused, positive, always have great expectations and watch fantastic things unfold in your life.

Growing up, my ol’ man had a nickname for everyone. I don’t know if it was because he couldn’t remember anyone’s name or because he thought it was funny. Whatever the reason, if you knew him (and he liked you) you got assigned a name. At his work there was a Flopjaw, Leo, Goliath, and a myriad of others. His naming wasn’t just relegated to work; each of us kids had a name as well. My brothers were Buck, Beanhead, Doodle, and my sister was “Sis” (okay, not that imaginative but it was still a nickname). Either through nature or nurture, this “gift” for naming people was passed on to me. Regardless of where I worked or the position I held, I’ve named my co-workers. Never derogatory - but a positive reflection of the traits they radiated during their daily interaction with me. It made no difference if I was working with Sparky, Sprocket, or Sparkle, the result of my nicknaming was nearly always positive. Here’s what it could do for you if you’re willing to take the risk.

Force Reflection

If you are to come up with a really accurate, positive nickname for a co-worker, it takes time and reflection. You MUST take the time to really watch, learn, and get to know this person. This is never a bad thing - especially when you are focusing in on the good. We spend hours, days, and, yes, sometimes years focusing in on the things that irritate us about others. Taking some time to focus in on the good can help us change our perceptions of that person and, in turn, appreciate them on a different level. If we change our perceptions, we can change our world!

Brake Barriers

Once I would finalize a name (and, yes, it would sometimes take a few revisions to get it just right), I would start easing the person into their new name. Undoubtedly, the question would always arise, “Why are you calling me that?” This question would give me the perfect opportunity to ease into his or her positive traits. For instance, when working with Sprocket (who could be negative at times), I explained to her that she was named such because “You make things go!” When I would call her Sprocket she would smile and I could see her spirit lift a bit. But here’s the key: A nickname has to be positive and if the person doesn’t like the name it can’t be used.

Build Community

In a formal organization, we are quick to figure out who fits where and who does what. Once we have this down, we then start to know people as what they do versus who they are. Add some cubicles and email and you’ve got a nice, sterile environment where teamwork, productivity, and creativity wane. Nicknames add personality and are personable. They are a huge florescent splash of color on a flat white wall. When we know each other by more than title and/or job but as people, there’s no limit to where we can go as an organization.

Do not feel as if this burden lies solely on you. Bring your team into the mix and ask them to help. Here are some possibilities for brainstorming at your next meeting to help each other come up with positive nicknames:

• Rap Names
• Disney Characters
• Greek Gods
• Western Icons
• Famous Explorers

The possibilities are endless and the reward great when we work to know those around us, break barriers and build community. Those are the organizations people want to be a part of - where they can flourish and progress is made! Oh, and my nicknames? I’ve been Chipper the Skipper, Golden Boy, The Professor, Pookey Bear, and one of the Wonder Twins. But the best is the one that came from the master himself, my father, who just refers to me as “The Wiener.”