Yes, I still believe in super heroes! In a quick straw poll of the members of my household on what superpower they would want if given the opportunity, I was quite surprised with the answers. I had two that wanted to fly, one that wanted to be invisible, one that wanted to be able to read another’s thoughts, and one that wanted to control another’s thoughts. When I was growing up, I often thought about what it would be like to be a superhero, didn’t you? What would I do? What kind of super hero would I be? I was always drawn to those who didn’t have powers but, instead, leveraged what they had in order to make the world a better place. Of course I admired Batman but, more often, I found myself pretending that I was Steve Austin, the astronaut that had been “re-tooled” with bionics after his tragic wreck and was transformed into the “Six Million Dollar Man.”

The opening sequence of that fantastic 70’s show opens showing a horrific crash and then a narrator saying, “Steve Austin, astronaut; a man barely alive…” and ends with head scientist, Oscar Goldman, laying out the plan, ” Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology….we can make him better, stronger, faster than before.” Even today, this show still appeals to me. For me, even as an adult, it tugs at the question of what kind of superhero I am and how can I leverage what I have so I can contribute more. Not that I am not good but, like many, can feel the stress of life and feel like any man, barely alive. But each of us has the technology to rebuild - to make ourselves better, stronger and, yes, faster than before.

Being Better
There are many things I am good at but there are a LOT more that I would like to be better at. With competing demands and resources, it can be easy to fall into a trap of trying to do everything and be everything. I am sure I am not alone in feeling the super hero pull to do it all, have it all and be everything to everybody. It’s not impossible to do but it can strip you of your super powers. I equate it to when a restaurant goes from having some key specialty dishes to serving a buffet. When you switch to a buffet, the overall quality degrades just a little and the experience is not as great. Being better is taking time to reflect on what’s important, investing in your own development and choosing how you will use your superpowers. CHOICE!? I have a choice? Yes! Being better is getting rid of the buffet and getting back to your specialty dishes. You can’t save everyone but you CAN save yourself!

Being Stronger
Superman had Lex Luthor, Batman had the Penguin, and Spiderman had the Goblin. Just as every superhero has his arch villain, you have yours and I have mine. Even Steve Austin fought the powers of the bionic Big Foot who was sometimes friend, sometimes foe (but that’s a whole different article). What (or who) is your archenemy? It could be finances, food, marital problems, or any myriad of other issues/people that knock you down, lock you up, and calculate how to expose your weaknesses so that it will result in your ultimate failure. The lesson we can take from our superheroes is that they ALWAYS prevailed. The power of your good is always greater than the evil forces at large. Being stronger is the realization that, no matter whom (or what) we face, you can dig deep and overcome it. It could be with the help of your superfriends or with the help of something supernatural. Regardless, the super hero phrase you can write on a post-it and plaster everywhere to remind yourself is:

“I ‘M > it”
(Translation: “I AM greater than it!”)
You are greater than any foe you face because you can leverage your own super powers to overcome it. Dig deep and send it back to the fiery depths of hell whence it came.

Faster Than Before
Faster for me doesn’t mean the speed at which I travel, leap over buildings or the speed with which I save the damsel in distress. For me (and I can only speak for me), it is about being faster to appreciate the countless blessings, joys, and wonders that fill my life. It is about being faster to be kind, faster to spontaneously appreciate the people in my life that make it worthwhile, and faster to slow things down so I can savor the moment. It’s easy to get caught up in the negativity of the world, see what is going wrong, and let it sap my super powers. Super heroes look for what is going right, who is doing right, and how they can contribute to the larger good. Be faster every day in being present and positive. It helps with both being stronger and better!

Now don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t mind being able to fly, see through walls, or even able to shoot webs from my wrists and sail through the city. However, I think we are all superheroes in our own way and we can strengthen our positive foothold in the world and defeat evil by leveraging the gifts we already have. I can be better, stronger, and faster! I have that technology and so do you! So step up, step out, and make a difference!

I love a good mystery, don’t you? Some of my favorite Sunday afternoons as a kid were spent watching Sherlock Holmes or Charlie Chan use their super sleuth skills to solve the most complex of crimes and, ultimately, save the world from complete annihilation. However great contemplating classic capers have been for me, having a mysterious leader has never been as entertaining. In fact, it can quickly become a horror show. Have you ever worked for a person whose reaction to situations would sway from one extreme to another depending on who was around, which way the wind was blowing, or if they had gotten a prime parking spot that morning? Well, you are not alone because I have had the displeasure of working with (and for) “Bi-polar Bob” and “Wacky Wanda” as well. Working with questions, inconsistency, and conundrums erode the trust needed to keep morale high, move the team forward, and weather the trials that many of our teams are facing.

When examining relationships, there should be no mystery - at home, work, or play. If you are the last person to know about bad situations or feel like you’re the last resort, there is probably a reason. The question to ask is, “Am I building Covenants or breaking them?” A covenant is a relationship of trust. It signifies that, no matter what, you act in accordance with your beliefs and that your teammate can count on that consistency. There are no questions and there is no guessing on how you will sail because you are sure and steady. This starts with your own reflections on what you believe, where you stand, and is manifested in how you behave. To build everyday covenants (and keep the mysteries at a minimum), I continually strive to stay consistent by taking the time to periodically reflect on three things: statements of purpose, statements of intent, and congruency between the two. Although you may not be able to change others around you, you can change your behaviors and reactions to those around you.

What Are My Statements of Purpose?

Statements of purpose manifest from the core of my being. Above all, they are what I value and what “I Believe.” For me, I believe in honesty, integrity, family, love, laughter, and the innate goodness of the human spirit. I also believe that each person has been given a purpose on this big, blue, wet ball and with that purpose, a responsibility to ease the burden of others, not to make it heavier. Those values are the rudder by which I live my life. Take a moment to reflect on yours. What are your statements of purpose? What do you believe? Where do you stand? If it’s a mystery to you, then it will surely be a mystery to others!

What Are My Statements of Intent?

Statements of intent are different from things that you “can do” (there are a lot of things that each of us can do). Statements of intent are things that you WILL DO! My statements of intent include that I WILL:

Treat others with dignity and respect

Put the needs of the ones I love before my own

Take myself lightly and find the humor in life

Be honest with myself and others

When I’ve taken the time to reflect and intentionally write them down, they become my personal “manifesto” on how I will deal with people, situations, and also they become a roadmap of how I will live my life. What are the things that you WILL do? There is great power in knowing what your statements of intent are, writing them down and speaking them out loud. Do yourself that favor!

Are The Two Congruent?

The last thing I reflect on is if my beliefs and actions are congruent with each other. If they are, then there will be NO mystery to anyone on how I will (or would) respond in a situation. If there is, something is amiss. Either I don’t really believe what I’ve stated as my purpose or the intent doesn’t match the belief. I like to equate it to when people say they “want” something. If you want something, that means you are taking steps towards your goal. If you aren’t taking those steps, then you really don’t want it. It’s just a nicety. The same goes with purpose and intent. If you say you believe something but don’t actively live it, you don’t really believe it. The two must be congruent or you’ll be swayed, mysteries will continue and covenants will be broken.

It’s not that I don’t like surprises, I do. I like the spontaneity that keeps relationships fresh, vibrant and how it can propel a team to new possibilities. But, I know I am not alone when I state that I don’t like the mystery of how you’ll react if I come to you with less than favorable news. There are no mysteries within the covenants that are built with others; there is only openness, loyalty, and trust. That’s what is being built every day in relationships - as long as you are living your values and openly sharing them with those within your circle. Step Up and Invest Yourself Today!

When I first joined the Navy I, like every young Sailor, went through the required training to learn how to fight and prevent fires. Twenty years later, I still remember that you need 3 elements to create a fire - oxygen, heat, and fuel. Take one of them away and the fire is gone and so is the chemical reaction. The same principles apply igniting the passions of your team. To get the chemical reaction needed to catapult you to new heights of creativity, productivity, and teamwork, you need the oxygen of communication, the heat of a “can” attitude, and the fuel of “will” actions.

The Oxygen of Communication

No one on the team likes to be treated like a mushroom (kept in the dark). People like to know what is going on and how they contribute. Moreover, they want to know you and want you to know them. This can’t be done from behind a computer screen, via text message, or voicemail. It takes leadership by walking around - getting to truly know the team. I once had a boss that did all of his communication electronically. In two years of working for him, he only came back to my office twice. He didn’t know me, he didn’t know my team, and we were not connected. However eloquent and masterful you are at weaving words on “paper,” nothing replaces face to face when connecting with people. That connection is at the heart of “fanning the flame.” It breathes life into it - it says that each person matters, what they do matters, and that you (as a leader) care. Breath deep and fan the flame, it takes ample oxygen to get the fire going.

The Heat of a “Can” Attitude

The word “yes” provides the most intense heat when cultivating a “can” attitude! Yes we can! A “can” leader looks at the world in possibilities, not probabilities. There are plenty of people out there who will readily sound off about how things can’t be done and, just as readily, tell you why things won’t work. This cools the atmosphere so rapidly that nothing will ignite. A “can” leader looks for how things will work. “Can” leaders heat the atmosphere powerfully with their positive outlook, ability to dream, and vision of what can be. Discarding the negative elements that can retard combustion, they forge ahead with insight and ability. An intense “can” attitude heats everything around it and its energy can be harnessed to overcome the worst elements. Be intense, be hot, and heat up everything around you with “can” attitude!

The Fuel of “Will” Actions

Without the fuel of “will” actions, oxygen and heat just make hot air. “Will” actions model the way for the team. They say that not only do you talk the talk; you (as a leader) also walk it. “Will” actions show the team that the burden of forging forward is not theirs alone - it is everyone’s responsibility to get fuel for the fire and you lead the way. The first steps, the risk and the willingness to work along side team members are all fundamental “will” actions fuel that will motivate, inspire, and energize! As leaders, we must continually feed the flame with these fuels to keep it hot, intense, and brilliant! Step up and stand out! The actions are yours to take and yours to model. Feed that fire!

Any two of these elements may give you “smolder” but it takes all three to ignite a fire and get the chemical reaction needed to achieve new levels of greatness. Don’t misunderstand, there will be storms and other elements that may attempt to douse your fire but if you have built it strong, high and continual, it will continue to burn in the roughest of conditions. Walk the talk - your attitude will show that you can and your actions show that you will! Build it big, build it high, and keep the fire going!

The stench of sweat, mothballs and fear permeated the room as the timer went off and the instructor said, “Go!” It was our final locker inspection for my graduation from boot camp and we all needed to pass in order to move on to the next “adventure.” 80 sweaty, stinky, and desperate men sped to get all the items from their locker folded and stowed within millimeters of what had been given to us as the standard. Through the cloud of anxiety, flurry of dripping sweat, and flying clothes, my Company Commander looked over and said, “LUTZ!? What are you doing!?” Yes, it looked crazy, but from the (what seemed like) thousands of items that needed to be put away, I had taken my skivvies (underwear) and placed them on the top of my head like a hat to keep them out of the way until I was ready to stow them. I replied sheepishly, “Sir, it keeps them out of the way!” He cocked his head, looked at me confused and then said, “Okay, if it works, DO IT!” At that moment, I looked around and saw 80% of my teammates throwing their “tighty whities” on their head in an effort to achieve the goal. We, as a team, passed our inspection and moved to the next challenges that were put before us. Our leader knew that achievement came from empowerment, not exact direction. Certainly, he had trained us, given the method, and told us the end result but he knew that the journey had to be ours to take and ours to own. Moving your team from despair to dreams can be easier than you might think.

Step One: Show Them Most adults learn best through active participation–show them how to do what needs to be done. Model the behavior and attitude you want others to display. Live the values that embody who you are. These are the things that are needed to lay the ground work for success. All too often we, as leaders, assume that because we know something, our team members also know. Showing bridges the gap between what we think and what really is. It eases the stress of the unknown and ensures that each team member is on the same page from the very beginning. Showing is different from exact direction. Showing is coaching; showing is mentoring; showing is being a part of what is going on and signifies an investment in your people and the process.

Step Two: Tell Them As you show them, tell them what it means. What is the expectation? What is the standard? How is it going to look, feel, and be like when we “get there?” Clearly communicate the value of what is being done and how each person factors into the end result. We, as leaders, need to turn the radio dial to WIIFM (What’s In It For Me) and let our team know how what is being done benefits them. We also need to address the “why.” One of my favorite quotes is, “The person that knows how to do a job will always be employed but the person that knows why will always be his boss.” We should tell the “why” so that we are developing those around us to someday take the reins. Be clear, be concise, and tell them!

Step Three: Watch Them Once you have shown them the way and clearly explained the expectation, step back and watch your team come up with new ways to get there. If they start veering off course, give them a little latitude to explore new possibilities and then, if it seems like it’s not going to work, go back to steps one and two to get everyone back on track. Watch them spread their wings as they soar to new possibilities! Watch your team develop personally and professionally as you, gently, guide the way. Watch out! You will be amazed at the places you will go!

No matter where you are at in this process, don’t forget to have fun! You set the pace! If you want to foster a climate of increased creativity, innovation, and teamwork, the responsibility lies with the person in charge. Through active participation, communication, and empowering people to take control, you will create a climate that is high in confidence, resilience, and team satisfaction! So, get out there! Get your team wearing their underwear on their heads!

Relationships parallel houses in the way they are built. Daily, we add (or detract) from the foundation of our relationships - at work and at home. Daily, we lay bricks, reinforce walls, put up barriers, and cover open spaces. How much reflection and planning are you investing into the building of your house? It takes time to figure out how you want your house laid out but even with a great floor plan, if the foundation is weak, your house won’t last long. To bind the foundation of your relationships so that they will survive all of the elements, try a mortar mixture of humor and humanity.

Humor

Humor can improve communication, break down social barriers, spark new creativity, help people deal with an ever changing world, and it can also serve as a positive reference point for when relationships strain. It can have the reverse effect if it is ill suited. Humor, as foundation mortar, should be positive, uplifting and should never be at someone else’s expense. It’s a free expression in finding the funny things in life and a reference point between people when things are difficult. I am luckier than most because my wife, Lara, has a fantastic sense of humor. When we were first married, I worked really close to our small apartment and would run home at lunch so we could eat lunch together and watch the “Price is Right.”

One afternoon she greeted me at the door and said, “I made you some cookies!” She knows I am a sweet junkie and she is a fabulous baker so, yes, I headed straight for the kitchen. When I got to the kitchen she said they were still in the oven on the pan. I opened the oven up, took a look and there were 10 broken Archway cookies on a pan waiting for me. I looked at her confused and she busted up laughing. Anytime our house has been shaken by gale force winds, the humor mortar we have used for 20 years has kept our foundation strong. These humorous reference points allow us to laugh, connect, and deal with the storm. The same is true of the foundations we build at work - positive humor builds, binds, and cements. The second ingredient we need for a the binding of a strong foundation is humanity.

Humanity

Humanity is kindness. It is compassion for others. It’s remembering the platinum rule, “Treat others the way that they want to be treated.” We must meet each person where they are at if we want our mortar mixture to set properly. This, again, takes reflection. It also takes an element of risk - we must open ourselves up if we want others to open up to us.

A few years back, I was stationed with a motivated young man who tackled every task put before him with gusto and a smile. When his performance started to decline, I knew something was wrong so I approached him to find out how things were going and if there was anything I could help. He confided in me that he was having difficulties at home. His wife had been pregnant, miscarried, and they were both having trouble dealing with it. He didn’t know what to do to help her through this emotional hurricane.

I opened up with him and told him that we had been through the same thing twice before we had our first child and that the best thing he could do was “be there.” Be there in mind and spirit. Time passed and things seemed to get better. I would ask him periodically how he was doing and it was always answered with a positive response. A few years passed, we transferred to different places, and then I ran into him one day. As we were talking, he told me how much he appreciated me sharing my own experience with him and how much it helped. He had taken my advice and also shared our story with his wife. His wife had found comfort (and hope) in the fact that others had gone through the same thing and went on to have children with no further incidents. The foundation of our relationship had been permanently bonded through mutual kindness and compassion - through humanity.

The world of today is busy, stressful, and ever changing. These forces can shake the firmest foundation to the point of wondering if the house you are in is going to come crashing down upon you. If you have sealed your foundation with a mortar mixture of humor and humanity, your relationship house will survive the storm and you will be able to continue to build. At home or at work - keep connecting; keep laughing; and keep cementing the foundation of your relationships.