What are your expectations of situations and people? When faced with new or difficult circumstances, how are your thoughts? Positive? Negative? Indifferent? I go into most situations with the predisposition that everything is going to work out the way that I want. I think it has something to do with me being the youngest child (and very spoiled). Regardless of the origin, I do believe that it is the expectation of things working the way I want that is the secret to them actually turning out that way. In that, all of my energy goes in that direction and (even though there may be hurdles) “it” gets done (whatever “it” is). The same can be true for having negative expectations and talking yourself into a spiral of despair before events unfold.

There was this guy who was driving to a dinner party out in the country and he got a flat tire. Knowing he was in a time crunch to get to his destination on time, he jumped out of his car, sped to his trunk and flipped open the hatch…only to realize that he didn’t have a jack. Panicked, his mind raced as what to do. His cell phone was out of range and he truly was in the middle of nowhere. Standing, by himself and beside himelf with grief, he saw a light flickering in the distance. “It could be a farmhouse,” he thought to himself. It was getting dark, the temperature was dropping and it was a seemingly long trek but, with no other choice, he decided to start walking towards the farmhouse to see if the residents had a jack he could borrow. As he walked, he started working out possible scenarios in his head of what would happen when he arrived at the farmhouse. Each scenario ended with him not getting a jack and being stranded (possibly for the rest of his life) out in the middle of nowhere - cold, hungry, and friendless. Although his building fury did hurry is pace, it did nothing for his disposition. The further he walked, the angrier he got. Over and over in his head he repeated, “I know that this guy is not going to let me borrow a jack!” By the time he reached the farmhouse he was in a rage. He marched up to the door and pounded on it repeatedly. He KNEW that this was a pointless endeavor and that this “guy” was not going to let him borrow a jack and that he was going to be out here forever. He pounded again. Finally, the door started to creek open and there stood a kindly looking old farmer. The farmer looked at the man and said, “May I help you?” The man reared back, hit the farmer in the face and said, “I didn’t want to borrow your damn jack anyway.”

The moral of the story? Don’t borrow jacks. We can discount things before we even give them a chance to develop. We need to set our expectations towards greatness if that’s what we want (or our team) to achieve. When you set them high, the hurdles will be just as high. To help you stay positive and laser focused on those goals, try these strategies:

Visualize

Know exactly where it is you are going or what you are trying to achieve. Sit back and visualize what it looks like, what it tastes like, what it feels like and who is there celebrating with you when you accomplish the goal. Once you do that, write it down and tell people about it. Verbalizing your goals helps internalize them, makes you accountable to those you told them about, and you will be much more likely to keep going when the going gets tough. If it’s a team goal, make sure EVERYONE (from the person in the mailroom to the CEO) knows where the team is going. This gives common purpose and critical mass - both of which move mountains!

Persist

There is an Irish proverb that reads, “Persistence breaks down resistance.” I am pretty sure my youngest daughter is Irish because she lives by this. There will always be hurtles to jump, mountains to climb, and speeches to give. Most will tell you how things can’t be done, not how they CAN be done. I always repeat to myself, “WWWWD?” (What would Willy Wonka do?). He would keep going and say, “We are the music makers and we are the dreamers of dreams!” If you have clarity in your expectations and know exactly where you going, keep up the fight, and persist. Don’t listen to “nay-sayers” who try to trample on your dream. It will go the way of your will if your will is strong. Stay strong!

Laugh

When the going gets tough, the tough get laughing. Stress is a fact of life. Having the intestinal fortitude to set your expectations high and dream can add enormously to your stress load. When you are persisting and the stress is building, take a break and laugh. See a funny movie, talk to friends that make you laugh, or just do some “ho ho ha ha ha’s” in the privacy of your car and you will find that your stress will diminish expeditiously! Laughing sets off a chain reaction of physical and emotional responses in your body that will help you maintain perspective, stay focused, and be happier! You can’t see the horizon if your head in pointed downward. Keep your head up with laughter!

In the end, we get what we expect to get. Each of us is only here for a short period of time and we should expect greatness because each of us IS great. Each of us has a reason, a purpose, and we should never discount our own capabilities or our blessings by “borrowing jacks.” Keep laser focused, positive, always have great expectations and watch fantastic things unfold in your life.

Growing up, my ol’ man had a nickname for everyone. I don’t know if it was because he couldn’t remember anyone’s name or because he thought it was funny. Whatever the reason, if you knew him (and he liked you) you got assigned a name. At his work there was a Flopjaw, Leo, Goliath, and a myriad of others. His naming wasn’t just relegated to work; each of us kids had a name as well. My brothers were Buck, Beanhead, Doodle, and my sister was “Sis” (okay, not that imaginative but it was still a nickname). Either through nature or nurture, this “gift” for naming people was passed on to me. Regardless of where I worked or the position I held, I’ve named my co-workers. Never derogatory - but a positive reflection of the traits they radiated during their daily interaction with me. It made no difference if I was working with Sparky, Sprocket, or Sparkle, the result of my nicknaming was nearly always positive. Here’s what it could do for you if you’re willing to take the risk.

Force Reflection

If you are to come up with a really accurate, positive nickname for a co-worker, it takes time and reflection. You MUST take the time to really watch, learn, and get to know this person. This is never a bad thing - especially when you are focusing in on the good. We spend hours, days, and, yes, sometimes years focusing in on the things that irritate us about others. Taking some time to focus in on the good can help us change our perceptions of that person and, in turn, appreciate them on a different level. If we change our perceptions, we can change our world!

Brake Barriers

Once I would finalize a name (and, yes, it would sometimes take a few revisions to get it just right), I would start easing the person into their new name. Undoubtedly, the question would always arise, “Why are you calling me that?” This question would give me the perfect opportunity to ease into his or her positive traits. For instance, when working with Sprocket (who could be negative at times), I explained to her that she was named such because “You make things go!” When I would call her Sprocket she would smile and I could see her spirit lift a bit. But here’s the key: A nickname has to be positive and if the person doesn’t like the name it can’t be used.

Build Community

In a formal organization, we are quick to figure out who fits where and who does what. Once we have this down, we then start to know people as what they do versus who they are. Add some cubicles and email and you’ve got a nice, sterile environment where teamwork, productivity, and creativity wane. Nicknames add personality and are personable. They are a huge florescent splash of color on a flat white wall. When we know each other by more than title and/or job but as people, there’s no limit to where we can go as an organization.

Do not feel as if this burden lies solely on you. Bring your team into the mix and ask them to help. Here are some possibilities for brainstorming at your next meeting to help each other come up with positive nicknames:

• Rap Names
• Disney Characters
• Greek Gods
• Western Icons
• Famous Explorers

The possibilities are endless and the reward great when we work to know those around us, break barriers and build community. Those are the organizations people want to be a part of - where they can flourish and progress is made! Oh, and my nicknames? I’ve been Chipper the Skipper, Golden Boy, The Professor, Pookey Bear, and one of the Wonder Twins. But the best is the one that came from the master himself, my father, who just refers to me as “The Wiener.”

Money is great! It makes the world go around. It motivates some to perform better for a while (in it’s pursuit) but that “superior” performance is usually short lived. In the same respect, threats, barking orders and intimidation have never moved any team that I was on to surpassing goals and moving to new levels of productivity or creativity. In 22 years of leading people, I have found that the essence of motivating team members comes from within. That, if you really want to “reach in and touch” that inner part of a person (to find the piece that motivates, moves them past goals, and vests their loyalty) each person has to be treated as such - a person! To motivate your team and catapult them to the next level, try these 4 “No Fail” strategies - all it costs is a little time and reflection.

Strategy #1: Communication

Since the beginning of time, mankind has used some form of communication to get things done. One would think that with so much practice, communicating would be a perfected art by now. Unfortunately, this is far from the norm. More often, we assume that people are mind readers. We assume they know what is expected, have all the knowledge they need to accomplish the task, and are even able to tell how they are performing. These assumptions can cause enormous problems at all levels of the organization and at all stages of an evolution. Good communicators know that communication is a two way street and that both lanes need to stay open. I remind myself to keep both lanes open by posting this equation in my office: “Q2L + S2S + S2A = GR8 COMMS.” Translated: Quick to Listen plus Slow to Speak plus Slow to Anger equals Great Communication. This equation helps me be actively involved in a conversation so that team members are truly heard. I am sure it will work the same for you. Write it down, post it, and practice it daily. You’ll be surprised at how much of a difference it makes.

Strategy #2: Appreciation

No words carry more weight and motivate team members more than “thank you.” The best part of this strategy is that it doesn’t cost a thing! This may seem like common sense but I don’t think that common sense is all that common. As individuals, who doesn’t like to be appreciated for the hard work that is put into a project? As leaders, why wouldn’t we pass that along to team members so that they know that we notice? Maybe it’s due to the hectic nature of today’s world of work - we get so busy that simple, “common sense” things get lost in the shuffle. Take time out and say thank you - it is the most cost effective reward you can give. Be specific and be genuine, it makes the difference.

Strategy #3: Value

When I am working on a project, I like to know how what I am doing factors into the end result. In short, what value am I providing? What is my contribution? Clear objectives motivate, provide value, and let team members know how they fit into the value chain. A few years back, I had a supervisor that took the time each day to cover the “game plan” for our overall mission. During our daily meetings, he would cover the “why” of what we were doing. This provided me with the bigger picture - I knew my contribution, my value to the end result and I was motivated to exceed the expectation. Value your people by letting them know their value.

Strategy #4: Enjoyment

A team that plays together stays together. I have had very few jobs where I woke up and said, “I can’t wait to do this today!” I have, however, had numerous jobs that I couldn’t wait to go to due to the atmosphere of fun that was created by a great leader or a great team. These were people who knew how to inject an element of humor, play and laughter into the most stressful of situations. Their actions broke down barriers, reduced stress and allowed the team to let go of inhibitions to reach their true potential. I don’t think this is a rare gift, I believe that each of us has the ability to impact the culture positively if we “lighten up” and look for the funnier side of things. The words work and play shouldn’t be opposites, they should be synonyms!

These 4 “No Fail” strategies will help leaders inspire, motivate and build a covenant of trust with your team. Trying them doesn’t cost a penny; they don’t need to be decided upon by a committee; and you should not be “faulted” for employing them (if you are, it’s time to find a new vocation). All it takes is time, reflection and care. Take the risk, step out, and connect with your people today. The return on investing yourself in your people will provide a much greater reward than just the bottom line.

The stench of sweat, mothballs and fear permeated the room as the timer went off and the instructor said, “Go!” It was our final locker inspection for my graduation from boot camp and we all needed to pass in order to move on to the next “adventure.” 80 sweaty, stinky, and desperate men sped to get all the items from their locker folded and stowed within millimeters of what had been given to us as the standard. Through the cloud of anxiety, flurry of dripping sweat, and flying clothes, my Company Commander looked over and said, “LUTZ!? What are you doing!?” Yes, it looked crazy, but from the (what seemed like) thousands of items that needed to be put away, I had taken my skivvies (underwear) and placed them on the top of my head like a hat to keep them out of the way until I was ready to stow them. I replied sheepishly, “Sir, it keeps them out of the way!” He cocked his head, looked at me confused and then said, “Okay, if it works, DO IT!” At that moment, I looked around and saw 80% of my teammates throwing their “tighty whities” on their head in an effort to achieve the goal. We, as a team, passed our inspection and moved to the next challenges that were put before us. Our leader knew that achievement came from empowerment, not exact direction. Certainly, he had trained us, given the method, and told us the end result but he knew that the journey had to be ours to take and ours to own. Moving your team from despair to dreams can be easier than you might think.

Step One: Show Them Most adults learn best through active participation–show them how to do what needs to be done. Model the behavior and attitude you want others to display. Live the values that embody who you are. These are the things that are needed to lay the ground work for success. All too often we, as leaders, assume that because we know something, our team members also know. Showing bridges the gap between what we think and what really is. It eases the stress of the unknown and ensures that each team member is on the same page from the very beginning. Showing is different from exact direction. Showing is coaching; showing is mentoring; showing is being a part of what is going on and signifies an investment in your people and the process.

Step Two: Tell Them As you show them, tell them what it means. What is the expectation? What is the standard? How is it going to look, feel, and be like when we “get there?” Clearly communicate the value of what is being done and how each person factors into the end result. We, as leaders, need to turn the radio dial to WIIFM (What’s In It For Me) and let our team know how what is being done benefits them. We also need to address the “why.” One of my favorite quotes is, “The person that knows how to do a job will always be employed but the person that knows why will always be his boss.” We should tell the “why” so that we are developing those around us to someday take the reins. Be clear, be concise, and tell them!

Step Three: Watch Them Once you have shown them the way and clearly explained the expectation, step back and watch your team come up with new ways to get there. If they start veering off course, give them a little latitude to explore new possibilities and then, if it seems like it’s not going to work, go back to steps one and two to get everyone back on track. Watch them spread their wings as they soar to new possibilities! Watch your team develop personally and professionally as you, gently, guide the way. Watch out! You will be amazed at the places you will go!

No matter where you are at in this process, don’t forget to have fun! You set the pace! If you want to foster a climate of increased creativity, innovation, and teamwork, the responsibility lies with the person in charge. Through active participation, communication, and empowering people to take control, you will create a climate that is high in confidence, resilience, and team satisfaction! So, get out there! Get your team wearing their underwear on their heads!

Relationships parallel houses in the way they are built. Daily, we add (or detract) from the foundation of our relationships - at work and at home. Daily, we lay bricks, reinforce walls, put up barriers, and cover open spaces. How much reflection and planning are you investing into the building of your house? It takes time to figure out how you want your house laid out but even with a great floor plan, if the foundation is weak, your house won’t last long. To bind the foundation of your relationships so that they will survive all of the elements, try a mortar mixture of humor and humanity.

Humor

Humor can improve communication, break down social barriers, spark new creativity, help people deal with an ever changing world, and it can also serve as a positive reference point for when relationships strain. It can have the reverse effect if it is ill suited. Humor, as foundation mortar, should be positive, uplifting and should never be at someone else’s expense. It’s a free expression in finding the funny things in life and a reference point between people when things are difficult. I am luckier than most because my wife, Lara, has a fantastic sense of humor. When we were first married, I worked really close to our small apartment and would run home at lunch so we could eat lunch together and watch the “Price is Right.”

One afternoon she greeted me at the door and said, “I made you some cookies!” She knows I am a sweet junkie and she is a fabulous baker so, yes, I headed straight for the kitchen. When I got to the kitchen she said they were still in the oven on the pan. I opened the oven up, took a look and there were 10 broken Archway cookies on a pan waiting for me. I looked at her confused and she busted up laughing. Anytime our house has been shaken by gale force winds, the humor mortar we have used for 20 years has kept our foundation strong. These humorous reference points allow us to laugh, connect, and deal with the storm. The same is true of the foundations we build at work - positive humor builds, binds, and cements. The second ingredient we need for a the binding of a strong foundation is humanity.

Humanity

Humanity is kindness. It is compassion for others. It’s remembering the platinum rule, “Treat others the way that they want to be treated.” We must meet each person where they are at if we want our mortar mixture to set properly. This, again, takes reflection. It also takes an element of risk - we must open ourselves up if we want others to open up to us.

A few years back, I was stationed with a motivated young man who tackled every task put before him with gusto and a smile. When his performance started to decline, I knew something was wrong so I approached him to find out how things were going and if there was anything I could help. He confided in me that he was having difficulties at home. His wife had been pregnant, miscarried, and they were both having trouble dealing with it. He didn’t know what to do to help her through this emotional hurricane.

I opened up with him and told him that we had been through the same thing twice before we had our first child and that the best thing he could do was “be there.” Be there in mind and spirit. Time passed and things seemed to get better. I would ask him periodically how he was doing and it was always answered with a positive response. A few years passed, we transferred to different places, and then I ran into him one day. As we were talking, he told me how much he appreciated me sharing my own experience with him and how much it helped. He had taken my advice and also shared our story with his wife. His wife had found comfort (and hope) in the fact that others had gone through the same thing and went on to have children with no further incidents. The foundation of our relationship had been permanently bonded through mutual kindness and compassion - through humanity.

The world of today is busy, stressful, and ever changing. These forces can shake the firmest foundation to the point of wondering if the house you are in is going to come crashing down upon you. If you have sealed your foundation with a mortar mixture of humor and humanity, your relationship house will survive the storm and you will be able to continue to build. At home or at work - keep connecting; keep laughing; and keep cementing the foundation of your relationships.