Make It Through The Trials
August 3, 2009 by admin
Filed under Uncategorized
I was two months into my first Command tour when the call came in. It was the call I hoped would never happen but, in the back of my head, knew would eventually come. As the senior Naval Officer in my area, one of my responsibilities was to make the notification to next of kin when a Navy member passed and now it was time. A young Sailor had gotten killed and I had to go tell his mother that her son wasn’t coming home.
My heart raced as I recorded the details from headquarters and I wondered how I was going to be able to handle this duty. This wasn’t something I wanted to do nor was it something that I was prepared to do. I mean, I had gone through the training on the “what and how” to go about doing this but it wasn’t something that was conducive to my personality type - I am a nice guy…a joker…I have never liked giving bad news (especially news like this).
There are times when each of us are all thrust into situations that can test what we’re made of and make us question our ability to handle it. I relied on these three thought processes to get me through.
Best Case/Worst Case
Worry and fear can cloud our mental processes and this is what happened to me. This notification was unlike anything I had to do before. I had faced tough situations before but it was never personal. It was a mission I had to do. Since this was personal, my mind was all over the place on how it was going to go. A series of “what if” scenarios flashed through my head - clouding what I was supposed to do. To see clearly, I had to break this down into best case and worst case scenarios. This helped me through the worry and fear of what had to be done and see just two. Best case, this happens…worst case, that happens. This clarity helped get a new perspective.
Perspective
Personal perspective makes all the difference in being able to get through any challenge. My initial perspective on this, however human, was all wrong. This wasn’t something that anyone could do. This was something that I was given the honor to do. My duty was to take care of one of our own and his family. Once I realized this, my perspective changed from one of sympathy to that of empathy. What would I want for my family if the situation was the same? How would I want them to be notified? How would I want them to be treated? Changing my perspective changed everything. It enabled me to act according to my beliefs and be “there” for those who needed me.
Commitment
Even if we’re given something that is trying or that we don’t want to do, it should still be done with all of our heart. Before I went to the door to make this notification, I committed to myself that I would be the best representative I could be for this family. I owed it to this service member, I owed it to the Navy and (most importantly) I owed it to this family. They had given one of their own to secure what so many of us take for granted. When we commit from your heart it shows in every world that is said and every action that is taken.
Even with this mindset, my heart still raced as I knocked on the door, but I knew I was going to help this family through this trying time and I did. As I stated at the beginning, we all face times of trial. Those are the times we may feel like we don’t have the answers and that we don’t know if we can handle what we were just given. Even though this sounds crazy, those are the times we can be at our personal best. We just need to see the issue for what it is, have the right perspective, and commit to working from our heart. I came out of this experience stronger than I was before and, no matter what situation comes YOUR way, you will too.
All Engines Ahead Full!
February 5, 2009 by admin
Filed under Uncategorized
It was the Independence Day holiday weekend and all of my buddies were going out to paint the town. It had been a long 10 weeks of training during Officer Candidate School and each of us had earned the privilege of going out to blow off some steam. I, however, decided to stay in and study. Our previous few days of lessons had been on ship’s navigation and on the Monday of our return was a comprehensive test on what we had learned as well as a practical exam using Maneuvering Boards (MOBOARDS). Oh, how I hated MOBOARDS! A line here, a vector there - all were important in navigating the ship but I never seemed to get it exactly right (and I had to if I was going to graduate with my class). With hard work, time, and some help from some patient friends, I not only mastered MOBOARDS that weekend, but I also learned that any goal could be achieved with the right tools. As you contemplate personal and professional aspirations this year, try using these three tools in navigating towards new opportunities.
Pick Your Point
The first step in navigating is to pick, exactly, where you are going. It can’t be in generalities, it has to be written down as specifically as possible. Let’s look at it like this: If you were leaving Norfolk, Virginia and sailing to Brisbane, Australia, you wouldn’t just pick Australia as your navigation point. There’s no telling where you would end up (if you’d even hit the right continent). The same goes for setting your personal (and team) goals - the point we are navigating to should be specific. Imagine it, visualize it, write it down and let others know where you are going.
Get Your Fix
Before we set sail and in order to lay a good course, we have to know where we currently are. I would recommend using Dead Reckoning. Dead reckoning is the process of estimating one’s current position based upon a previously determined position, or fix, and advancing that position based upon known speed, elapsed time, and course. Before you pull anchor, you need to make an HONEST assessment of where you are. Questions that should be asked when figuring your position are: What are my strengths and weaknesses? Who do I need help from? What do I need more of in order to hit my goal? Those questions have to be answered honestly if your course is going to be true - failure to know your current point of reference will cause your course to be WAY off and possibly run aground. Get your fix!
All Engines Ahead Full
With your current fix and destination known, it is time to set sail. Don’t hesitate, call down to the engine room, order the command “ALL ENGINES AHEAD FULL” and start moving towards your navigation point. Without that command, obviously, you aren’t going to go anywhere! While sailing your course, you may have to throttle back the engines in order to get a new fix - that’s acceptable and necessary. What shouldn’t happen is to order the command, “STOP ENGINES” - unless, of course, collision is imminent (which is highly unlikely if you are continually getting your fix). Keep your engines ahead prevents drifting aimlessly in the open sea.
I mastered MOBOARDS with a clear goal, a good fix, and the “engine power” to move to my destination. Every point I’ve identified for navigation to since that time has been approached in the same way and so can your points. But, like I said, I did have some help from my shipmates (Navy term for friend). Some MOBOARDS are so complex that it takes a team of people to figure out the course. Never hesitate to accept assistance from your shipmates - you’ll, undoubtedly, enjoy a smoother sail. Don’t wait: Throttle those engines and navigate towards your goals today!
Remember: Every day is a New Year with the right perspective!
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