I love a good mystery, don’t you? Some of my favorite Sunday afternoons as a kid were spent watching Sherlock Holmes or Charlie Chan use their super sleuth skills to solve the most complex of crimes and, ultimately, save the world from complete annihilation. However great contemplating classic capers have been for me, having a mysterious leader has never been as entertaining. In fact, it can quickly become a horror show. Have you ever worked for a person whose reaction to situations would sway from one extreme to another depending on who was around, which way the wind was blowing, or if they had gotten a prime parking spot that morning? Well, you are not alone because I have had the displeasure of working with (and for) “Bi-polar Bob” and “Wacky Wanda” as well. Working with questions, inconsistency, and conundrums erode the trust needed to keep morale high, move the team forward, and weather the trials that many of our teams are facing.

When examining relationships, there should be no mystery - at home, work, or play. If you are the last person to know about bad situations or feel like you’re the last resort, there is probably a reason. The question to ask is, “Am I building Covenants or breaking them?” A covenant is a relationship of trust. It signifies that, no matter what, you act in accordance with your beliefs and that your teammate can count on that consistency. There are no questions and there is no guessing on how you will sail because you are sure and steady. This starts with your own reflections on what you believe, where you stand, and is manifested in how you behave. To build everyday covenants (and keep the mysteries at a minimum), I continually strive to stay consistent by taking the time to periodically reflect on three things: statements of purpose, statements of intent, and congruency between the two. Although you may not be able to change others around you, you can change your behaviors and reactions to those around you.

What Are My Statements of Purpose?

Statements of purpose manifest from the core of my being. Above all, they are what I value and what “I Believe.” For me, I believe in honesty, integrity, family, love, laughter, and the innate goodness of the human spirit. I also believe that each person has been given a purpose on this big, blue, wet ball and with that purpose, a responsibility to ease the burden of others, not to make it heavier. Those values are the rudder by which I live my life. Take a moment to reflect on yours. What are your statements of purpose? What do you believe? Where do you stand? If it’s a mystery to you, then it will surely be a mystery to others!

What Are My Statements of Intent?

Statements of intent are different from things that you “can do” (there are a lot of things that each of us can do). Statements of intent are things that you WILL DO! My statements of intent include that I WILL:

Treat others with dignity and respect

Put the needs of the ones I love before my own

Take myself lightly and find the humor in life

Be honest with myself and others

When I’ve taken the time to reflect and intentionally write them down, they become my personal “manifesto” on how I will deal with people, situations, and also they become a roadmap of how I will live my life. What are the things that you WILL do? There is great power in knowing what your statements of intent are, writing them down and speaking them out loud. Do yourself that favor!

Are The Two Congruent?

The last thing I reflect on is if my beliefs and actions are congruent with each other. If they are, then there will be NO mystery to anyone on how I will (or would) respond in a situation. If there is, something is amiss. Either I don’t really believe what I’ve stated as my purpose or the intent doesn’t match the belief. I like to equate it to when people say they “want” something. If you want something, that means you are taking steps towards your goal. If you aren’t taking those steps, then you really don’t want it. It’s just a nicety. The same goes with purpose and intent. If you say you believe something but don’t actively live it, you don’t really believe it. The two must be congruent or you’ll be swayed, mysteries will continue and covenants will be broken.

It’s not that I don’t like surprises, I do. I like the spontaneity that keeps relationships fresh, vibrant and how it can propel a team to new possibilities. But, I know I am not alone when I state that I don’t like the mystery of how you’ll react if I come to you with less than favorable news. There are no mysteries within the covenants that are built with others; there is only openness, loyalty, and trust. That’s what is being built every day in relationships - as long as you are living your values and openly sharing them with those within your circle. Step Up and Invest Yourself Today!

When I first joined the Navy I, like every young Sailor, went through the required training to learn how to fight and prevent fires. Twenty years later, I still remember that you need 3 elements to create a fire - oxygen, heat, and fuel. Take one of them away and the fire is gone and so is the chemical reaction. The same principles apply igniting the passions of your team. To get the chemical reaction needed to catapult you to new heights of creativity, productivity, and teamwork, you need the oxygen of communication, the heat of a “can” attitude, and the fuel of “will” actions.

The Oxygen of Communication

No one on the team likes to be treated like a mushroom (kept in the dark). People like to know what is going on and how they contribute. Moreover, they want to know you and want you to know them. This can’t be done from behind a computer screen, via text message, or voicemail. It takes leadership by walking around - getting to truly know the team. I once had a boss that did all of his communication electronically. In two years of working for him, he only came back to my office twice. He didn’t know me, he didn’t know my team, and we were not connected. However eloquent and masterful you are at weaving words on “paper,” nothing replaces face to face when connecting with people. That connection is at the heart of “fanning the flame.” It breathes life into it - it says that each person matters, what they do matters, and that you (as a leader) care. Breath deep and fan the flame, it takes ample oxygen to get the fire going.

The Heat of a “Can” Attitude

The word “yes” provides the most intense heat when cultivating a “can” attitude! Yes we can! A “can” leader looks at the world in possibilities, not probabilities. There are plenty of people out there who will readily sound off about how things can’t be done and, just as readily, tell you why things won’t work. This cools the atmosphere so rapidly that nothing will ignite. A “can” leader looks for how things will work. “Can” leaders heat the atmosphere powerfully with their positive outlook, ability to dream, and vision of what can be. Discarding the negative elements that can retard combustion, they forge ahead with insight and ability. An intense “can” attitude heats everything around it and its energy can be harnessed to overcome the worst elements. Be intense, be hot, and heat up everything around you with “can” attitude!

The Fuel of “Will” Actions

Without the fuel of “will” actions, oxygen and heat just make hot air. “Will” actions model the way for the team. They say that not only do you talk the talk; you (as a leader) also walk it. “Will” actions show the team that the burden of forging forward is not theirs alone - it is everyone’s responsibility to get fuel for the fire and you lead the way. The first steps, the risk and the willingness to work along side team members are all fundamental “will” actions fuel that will motivate, inspire, and energize! As leaders, we must continually feed the flame with these fuels to keep it hot, intense, and brilliant! Step up and stand out! The actions are yours to take and yours to model. Feed that fire!

Any two of these elements may give you “smolder” but it takes all three to ignite a fire and get the chemical reaction needed to achieve new levels of greatness. Don’t misunderstand, there will be storms and other elements that may attempt to douse your fire but if you have built it strong, high and continual, it will continue to burn in the roughest of conditions. Walk the talk - your attitude will show that you can and your actions show that you will! Build it big, build it high, and keep the fire going!

We as leaders can’t make our people happy. Happiness is a personal choice. What we can do is manage the mood - the “how people feel” about their work, their contribution, and the organization. As a young division officer, I inherited a department that had low morale, low productivity, and even lower initiative. Most of the people assigned had been “written off” as no loads and it seemed as if a black cloud of negativity hovered over them. My first week, as I got to know the people and what they did (or were supposed to do), I tried to figure out what was missing. It’s not that this team wasn’t capable or even willing, vital elements were missing from their work existence, elements that let them know how they fit in and where they provided value. All I needed to do to boost the mood was show a little CARE.

Communication
My division hadn’t been communicated with about their mission. They didn’t know how what they did fit into the overall mission of where the organization was going. To them, everything was a pointless mess of metrics, reports and taskers. What was needed was the “how and “why.” My predecessor had made the critical assumption errors of assuming team members knew what it is they needed to do, how to do it, and what was expected of them. We can never assume! We must provide clarity, purpose and value - then and only then can we let go and empower them to make a difference. Do you want to see a dramatic upturn in team mood? Work to bridge the gaps with solid communication. This can’t be a one time chat - it must be a continual dialogue (think real conversation).

Accountability
More often than not, we think of accountability as being about someone else. As a leader, accountability starts with us. We can do all we want in trying to communicate to our people but that’s not enough, we also need to walk that talk. There is no better testimony to our team about ethics, trust, openness, and consistency than personal example. I had to openly show my team that I not only expected high standards from them, I expected them from myself as well. If they were working late, I was working late. I expected nothing from them that I wasn’t willing to give. Our ability to know what we stand for and openly live those values aligns us with our team so that they know, no matter what, you can be listened to and trusted.

Rewards
Each one of us keeps a psychological contract with our organization that says that the level of effort should be commensurate with the amount of rewards that are received. It can be equated to a scale that works to keep us balanced. If I am working hard, I should get rewarded for it. If I don’t see the reward, my scale gets out of balance and my productivity, motivation, and morale go down. Prior to my arrival, most team members felt like doing a good job was like peeing their pants in dark suit (it gave them a warm feeling but nobody noticed). The rewards plan that we implemented was well communicated, distributed, and publicized. Everyone knew what warranted rewards and how he/she could get on board with getting them because they were involved in the process. Very quickly, the scale got balanced and everything we had been missing started taking shape. A simple, low cost incentive that anyone can do right now is to just show some simple appreciation. Acknowledging a contribution or saying “thank you” goes a long way in telling team members their value.

Enlightenment
We spend the bulk of our awake hours at work. Keeping that in mind, work should be more than a place that provides a paycheck, it should be a place where we, as human beings, can flourish. That means that we, as leaders, have to continually connect with our people on a human level - disregarding the titles and positions that separate us and look for ways we can unite on common ground. I worked along side my team and coached them through every difficult maneuver. Anything we did, we did together and all team members benefited, either directly or indirectly. Working towards enlightenment and human flourishing not only allows for an open dialogue and an ability to achieve more, it also allows team members to get past the issues they might be facing in other areas of their lives because they know they are not alone. Being on YOUR team should be about more than the pay. Make it personal!

Due to a little CARE, in less than six months my “rag tag” bunch of misfits overcame the odds and beat out every other region in the areas that we could compete on. Our department’s morale, productivity, and individual engagement soared. We went from being the team that no one wanted to be on to one that people continually fought to join. As I stated before, we can’t make our people happy but we can manage the mood of how people feel about where it is they spend most of their time. That’s the impact YOU can have! CARE comes down to clarity and purpose - letting your team know their value and their worth! DON’T WAIT! STEP UP, STEP OUT AND SHOW ‘EM THAT YOU CARE!

What are your expectations of situations and people? When faced with new or difficult circumstances, how are your thoughts? Positive? Negative? Indifferent? I go into most situations with the predisposition that everything is going to work out the way that I want. I think it has something to do with me being the youngest child (and very spoiled). Regardless of the origin, I do believe that it is the expectation of things working the way I want that is the secret to them actually turning out that way. In that, all of my energy goes in that direction and (even though there may be hurdles) “it” gets done (whatever “it” is). The same can be true for having negative expectations and talking yourself into a spiral of despair before events unfold.

There was this guy who was driving to a dinner party out in the country and he got a flat tire. Knowing he was in a time crunch to get to his destination on time, he jumped out of his car, sped to his trunk and flipped open the hatch…only to realize that he didn’t have a jack. Panicked, his mind raced as what to do. His cell phone was out of range and he truly was in the middle of nowhere. Standing, by himself and beside himelf with grief, he saw a light flickering in the distance. “It could be a farmhouse,” he thought to himself. It was getting dark, the temperature was dropping and it was a seemingly long trek but, with no other choice, he decided to start walking towards the farmhouse to see if the residents had a jack he could borrow. As he walked, he started working out possible scenarios in his head of what would happen when he arrived at the farmhouse. Each scenario ended with him not getting a jack and being stranded (possibly for the rest of his life) out in the middle of nowhere - cold, hungry, and friendless. Although his building fury did hurry is pace, it did nothing for his disposition. The further he walked, the angrier he got. Over and over in his head he repeated, “I know that this guy is not going to let me borrow a jack!” By the time he reached the farmhouse he was in a rage. He marched up to the door and pounded on it repeatedly. He KNEW that this was a pointless endeavor and that this “guy” was not going to let him borrow a jack and that he was going to be out here forever. He pounded again. Finally, the door started to creek open and there stood a kindly looking old farmer. The farmer looked at the man and said, “May I help you?” The man reared back, hit the farmer in the face and said, “I didn’t want to borrow your damn jack anyway.”

The moral of the story? Don’t borrow jacks. We can discount things before we even give them a chance to develop. We need to set our expectations towards greatness if that’s what we want (or our team) to achieve. When you set them high, the hurdles will be just as high. To help you stay positive and laser focused on those goals, try these strategies:

Visualize

Know exactly where it is you are going or what you are trying to achieve. Sit back and visualize what it looks like, what it tastes like, what it feels like and who is there celebrating with you when you accomplish the goal. Once you do that, write it down and tell people about it. Verbalizing your goals helps internalize them, makes you accountable to those you told them about, and you will be much more likely to keep going when the going gets tough. If it’s a team goal, make sure EVERYONE (from the person in the mailroom to the CEO) knows where the team is going. This gives common purpose and critical mass - both of which move mountains!

Persist

There is an Irish proverb that reads, “Persistence breaks down resistance.” I am pretty sure my youngest daughter is Irish because she lives by this. There will always be hurtles to jump, mountains to climb, and speeches to give. Most will tell you how things can’t be done, not how they CAN be done. I always repeat to myself, “WWWWD?” (What would Willy Wonka do?). He would keep going and say, “We are the music makers and we are the dreamers of dreams!” If you have clarity in your expectations and know exactly where you going, keep up the fight, and persist. Don’t listen to “nay-sayers” who try to trample on your dream. It will go the way of your will if your will is strong. Stay strong!

Laugh

When the going gets tough, the tough get laughing. Stress is a fact of life. Having the intestinal fortitude to set your expectations high and dream can add enormously to your stress load. When you are persisting and the stress is building, take a break and laugh. See a funny movie, talk to friends that make you laugh, or just do some “ho ho ha ha ha’s” in the privacy of your car and you will find that your stress will diminish expeditiously! Laughing sets off a chain reaction of physical and emotional responses in your body that will help you maintain perspective, stay focused, and be happier! You can’t see the horizon if your head in pointed downward. Keep your head up with laughter!

In the end, we get what we expect to get. Each of us is only here for a short period of time and we should expect greatness because each of us IS great. Each of us has a reason, a purpose, and we should never discount our own capabilities or our blessings by “borrowing jacks.” Keep laser focused, positive, always have great expectations and watch fantastic things unfold in your life.

Growing up, my ol’ man had a nickname for everyone. I don’t know if it was because he couldn’t remember anyone’s name or because he thought it was funny. Whatever the reason, if you knew him (and he liked you) you got assigned a name. At his work there was a Flopjaw, Leo, Goliath, and a myriad of others. His naming wasn’t just relegated to work; each of us kids had a name as well. My brothers were Buck, Beanhead, Doodle, and my sister was “Sis” (okay, not that imaginative but it was still a nickname). Either through nature or nurture, this “gift” for naming people was passed on to me. Regardless of where I worked or the position I held, I’ve named my co-workers. Never derogatory - but a positive reflection of the traits they radiated during their daily interaction with me. It made no difference if I was working with Sparky, Sprocket, or Sparkle, the result of my nicknaming was nearly always positive. Here’s what it could do for you if you’re willing to take the risk.

Force Reflection

If you are to come up with a really accurate, positive nickname for a co-worker, it takes time and reflection. You MUST take the time to really watch, learn, and get to know this person. This is never a bad thing - especially when you are focusing in on the good. We spend hours, days, and, yes, sometimes years focusing in on the things that irritate us about others. Taking some time to focus in on the good can help us change our perceptions of that person and, in turn, appreciate them on a different level. If we change our perceptions, we can change our world!

Brake Barriers

Once I would finalize a name (and, yes, it would sometimes take a few revisions to get it just right), I would start easing the person into their new name. Undoubtedly, the question would always arise, “Why are you calling me that?” This question would give me the perfect opportunity to ease into his or her positive traits. For instance, when working with Sprocket (who could be negative at times), I explained to her that she was named such because “You make things go!” When I would call her Sprocket she would smile and I could see her spirit lift a bit. But here’s the key: A nickname has to be positive and if the person doesn’t like the name it can’t be used.

Build Community

In a formal organization, we are quick to figure out who fits where and who does what. Once we have this down, we then start to know people as what they do versus who they are. Add some cubicles and email and you’ve got a nice, sterile environment where teamwork, productivity, and creativity wane. Nicknames add personality and are personable. They are a huge florescent splash of color on a flat white wall. When we know each other by more than title and/or job but as people, there’s no limit to where we can go as an organization.

Do not feel as if this burden lies solely on you. Bring your team into the mix and ask them to help. Here are some possibilities for brainstorming at your next meeting to help each other come up with positive nicknames:

• Rap Names
• Disney Characters
• Greek Gods
• Western Icons
• Famous Explorers

The possibilities are endless and the reward great when we work to know those around us, break barriers and build community. Those are the organizations people want to be a part of - where they can flourish and progress is made! Oh, and my nicknames? I’ve been Chipper the Skipper, Golden Boy, The Professor, Pookey Bear, and one of the Wonder Twins. But the best is the one that came from the master himself, my father, who just refers to me as “The Wiener.”