3 Tactics For Dealing With the Jackass at Work!

My work life has been peppered with people that have been…well let’s just say, jackasses.  I’ve always thought of myself as someone that’s easy to get along with but, obviously, that’s not the case with everyone.  It could be your boss, co-worker, subordinate or even the barista at Starbucks…let’s face facts, we all work with some people that we might consider difficult.   The difficulty could arise from a difference of opinion, attitude, or just moving through the same spaces.  Regardless of from where it stems, it can make our work life miserable!  If our work life is miserable, that’s going to filter into most facets of the rest of our life.  80% of our success in life isn’t about how much we know or how skilled we are, it comes from how well we get along with people and those difficult ones can be, well, difficult!
If you’d like to get along with (notice I wrote “get along with” and not be “best friends with”) the difficult people at work, here are three tactics that have always worked for me.

Tactic #1:  KEEP IT PROFESSIONAL!
When I was a young Petty Officer, I worked with a crusty old Master Chief that, quite frankly, hated my guts (and it was reciprocated).  I didn’t like the way he did things and he didn’t like my “snarky” attitude.  So, to get along and get things done, we kept it professional.  Very much like Dragnet’s, Joe Friday, our conversations were about “just the facts.”   That kept personality out of the equation and kept things moving.

Tactic #2:  BE NICE
My first instinct when someone comes at me is to come right back.  If they bring a knife to a fight, I want to bring a gun (figuratively…obviously).  Although it goes against my instinct, what I’ve found is that by being nice, it helps ease the tension.  If they bring a knife, I’m bringing a smile.  If they bring a gun, I’m bringing a laugh (you get the idea).  Take a clue from Patrick Swayze in “Road House”….”Be Nice, until it’s time not to be nice.”  Those times may come but 99.9% of the time we can be nice, kill them with kindness and always come out ahead.

Tactic #3:  FIND SOMETHING IN COMMON
I used to have a Major work for me that would try and block anything (and everything) he could in order to maintain control.  Instinctively (like I said),  I flanked the same way but found that fighting fire with fire brought less results than I would hope.  What I found was that if I started any conversation about daughters (we both had two), he would be much more receptive to anything I had to say.  I would even ask his advice on what he did in certain situations when he was raising his girls (his were a little older than mine).  EVERYONE HAS SOMETHING IN COMMON!  Find out what it is by asking questions and let that be the baseline for opening your conversations.  Even if it’s “Hey, you have parents!?  I have parents too!”  We ALL have a baseline from which to draw and connect.

In all of these situations, I didn’t become BFF’s with the person but I DID learn to get along.  In any situation, we have a choice to make.  We can let it control us or we can work to control it.  I think that these three tactics help keep the control in our own court so that we’re a little less stressed, get along better and can move our team further with less blockage from jackasses.  I hope you find the same.

6 Tips For Managing Your Time

The only thing I can figure is that I used to have a LOT of time.  Way before children, responsibilities and work, I must have had oodles and oodles of time.  Because now, after the rigors of life have wedged their spiny hooks deep within my flesh, I don’t know where to get more time.  That’s the way it is for many of us as leaders, isn’t it?  It’s as if we’re continually treading water…trying to keep our heads up and catch our breath.
In my 25+ years of working, leading, and treading; I’ve learned a few simple strategies for effectively managing my time.  Try these 6 tips out and let me know how they work for you.

Tip #1:  Make a List and Live By it! I make a list every morning prior to my work day.  Actually, I start it the night prior but always add to it when I start my day.  If it is not on my list, it usually doesn’t get done.  Conversely, if it is on my list it nearly ALWAYS gets done.   Truthfully, I always will start with the easy things on my list to build my momentum (and positive energy) and then will tackle the hard things.  This is the single best item I use for managing my time.

Tip #2:  Pick It Up and Do Something With It! If I pick up a piece of paper (or open an email) , I make myself do something with it.  I can’t put it down (or ignore the email) until I’ve actually taken some kind of action with it.  In the case of paper, this can be managed easily.  For email, I give myself set times to open up and go through so I am not continuously online, answering emails.  Even if the action is just putting it on the list, at least I’ve done something with it versus just letting it pile up.

Tip #3:  Avoid Shiny Objects! I can get distracted really easily.  If it’s shiny…I’m going to follow it!  One click of the mouse or flip of the dial and I’m not spending time being productive; I’m spending time in productivity limbo!  If you know something is (or can be a distraction) for you, do your best to avoid it (or at least limit your time on it).  Stay focused on what needs to be done.

Tip #4:  Beware of Scuttlebutt! Scuttlebutt in slang usage means rumor or gossip, deriving from the nautical term for the cask used to serve water.  For us, it can mean a HUGE waste of time.  Let’s face it, we ALL LOVE a little gossip but it can be a MAJOR distraction in getting work done and just getting along.  If people know you don’t gossip, they won’t bother wasting their time telling you the NEW gossip which, in turn,  means they won’t be wasting YOUR time!

Tip #5:  Make Time for YOUR People! No matter how busy you are, you (as a leader) must make time for your people.  Carve out 1 hour each day to walk around or meet with your team members.  A favorite boss of mine would schedule an hour each week for me where we would just talk about “issues” (work and otherwise).  By doing this, he garnered my trust, loyalty, and heart.  Time spent with your team is time well spent.

Tip #6:  Reward Yourself! All work and no play make YOU a dull person!  Reward yourself after you’ve done something on your list (or a couple of things on your list).  Rewards are personal; you know what YOU like.  Give in and find a little functionality in fun!  It will not only help keep your momentum going but all also help you keep a positive attitude!

In today’s world we are all busy!  I still work on finding more time but, as you know, time is a finite commodity - we only get so much of it.  With that being the case, I’ve found that by using these strategies I spend less time tying to find more time and more time effectively using the time I have.  Give them a try, I think you’ll find the same.

R U ANGRY!?

I stood there in complete amazement as the man yelled, “Hey!!  You can’t cut!!  There’s a line here!  What are you doing!?”   No, he wasn’t yelling at me…he was yelling at a another man who was trying to board our 5 hour flight to San Francisco ahead of him.  It was like, somehow, we had been catapulted back into the second grade and a fight was going to ensue that the teachers would have to break up.  At first, the man tried to ignore what was being said but, after noticing that EVERYONE was looking, he sheepishly moved backward into obscurity and boarded the plane when no one would object.  Like I stated, I was amazed at what had just happened but not surprised.   Everywhere I go seems to have an abundance of people that are stewing in a cesspool of negativity and anger.  Granted, in the world, we will always encounter angry people but, lately, I seem to be noticing it much more.  This may sound elementary, but I really think the world is getting to us.  The economy, downsizing, rightsizing, and the constant onslaught of peril we see on the news are definitely taking their toll.

We can’t run optimally or reach our true potential when we are running on negative emotion and anger.  Doing this is like putting bad gas into our tanks - it’s going to cause some performance problems!  Leading others starts with leading yourself.  When you feel the weight of life bearing down on you and negativity starting to swell, try one of these strategies.

Talk It Out
When I bottle my anger up, it’s going to come out some time and when it does, it is usually MUCH WORSE than if I had addressed it head on in the first place.  If I have something that is bothering me, I’ll talk about it with a trusted friend or someone that can help me with the situation.  This can help me not only get it out there but also get another perspective on the issue.  No two people looking at the same thing will perceive it the same way.  Get a second opinion and get it out there.  If it involves a person, open up lines of communication and let them know.  From my end, there’s nothing worse than someone being angry and me not knowing why.  If I know, I can do something about it.

Find The Humor
I found the humor in the second grade antics of the man at the airport even if he didn’t.  If I were he, would I have found it as funny?  Maybe not but I certainly could’ve found something funny to think about to get my mind out of the spiral of negativity.  That’s all we need sometimes is one thing to help us get over the hump and get back to business.  I have several “fail safes” for bringing a smile to my face (most of them involve my wife and kids - they continually make me laugh).  Take a mental break by finding the funny, smiling, and moving on.

Divert Your Attention
The single best application I purchased for my iPhone this year is Scrabble!  Traveling can have its stressful moments.  Being delayed, diverted or cancelled can be enough to drive one crazy!  Why?  Because I’m not in control!  Many times with anger what we’re dealing with is control and predictability.  If we lose control or can’t predict what’s going happen, anger can be a result.  What can I control?  Myself!  I can control where my attention goes and what I cam going to pay attention to.  I can’t control the airline but I CAN control what letters make a fabulous word in scrabble.  Pick something that works for you.  It could be exercise, reading, watching a fun video - anything that diverts your attention for that moment where you might do or say something destructive that is going to be regretted.

These are just three practical strategies I use for leading myself when the world is trying to lead me astray.   Deciding to use one of them comes at a moment of choice.  But when I choose to use a strategy I have control of the situation and it doesn’t have control over me.  It allows me to be at my best, give my best, and help others do the same.  Make a choice to enjoy more and stress less.  I think you’ll like the results!